Two years away
I created this video for my 2-year anniversary in the US, my 2-year anniversary away from Lebanon.
In 2019, I left heartbroken and angry. I threw away the script I had written, I imprisoned my friends in a phone screen, I left behind my dreams and ambitions.
The night before I left, we protested and we partied. Typical Lebanese. I told my friends I’ll come back. I told them I’ll only be visiting the US for Christmas vacation. In January 2020, everything will be fine in Lebanon and I’ll be back. I told this story to them and to myself.
I packed only one suitcase. I wouldn’t have had the courage to get on the airplane with more. I had to lie to myself to leave. I had to believe I’m coming back.
I’ve been away since. Physically at least. I’ve followed the news of the thawra, I’ve facetimed my friends for hours, I’ve cried a river following the Beirut explosion.
It took me 2 years to feel okay. To find a new normal. To completely change careers. To make new friends. To learn to love again.
Today I feel lighter. I have my family around. I have my first listing on the market. I found my spaces. I met amazing people. I fell in love.
Of course the pain remains. The attachment remains. The worry remains. But I am trying to heal. And as a Lebanese, this is more than one could ask for.
